Where are you goin' Pa' De?

Me not goin anywhere far. just around the corner. to buy some groceries. My nephew wants to go wit me. but i can't. but he keep saying. Nak Pa'de Nak Pa'de. so i have to carry him for a while then put him down, attract him wit something else and quietly sneakout. Pretty sad thou seeing a little kid crying for something from me unless if it's something bad like. I remember there's one time when i was a kid about 4 or 5 years old i think. Suddenly came this big Lorry. pick up most of our furniture. i dnt know that time where it went to but i know now, it actually went to my granparents house in Pekan, Pahang. i can't go but my Eldest brother get to go wit. he get to sit behind the Lorry and had so much fun he said when he got back. i was crying the whole day. i wanna go. i dnt really know why i can't. well obviously i'm too small perhaps, but i still wanna go. i think i can handle it. maybe coz it's too far. wut i was thinking now is.. why i was really wanna go. nothing interesting actually. just sitting at the back and do nothing. unless if there's something enjoy to play like these days we have like PSP, Nintendo DS. or atleast gameboy to play in the lorry. thinking it back, maybe coz it's my brother.. he always had something fun to do. so creative. well, most of the thing he do must be pretty wrong actually like smoking, or stealing. but i found it adventure and fun. hehe. I always wanna go where he goes. i remember when i start smoking. it was 1988. i was 8 years old. he said he wanna go out. he asked me to stay. i dnt know why at first. he just wanna go to the park nearby. said he meet some friends. i dnt see any reason why i can't with. so i decide to follow him from behind without him notice. then at the Park, there's a big drain. well is not a like normal drain. not really dirty thou. just a big drain. he went into it. i'm curious why. wonder wuts he doin in there. so much bench around but he went there. at first i decide to go home. then i decide.. wut the hell. just go.. hhaha.. i saw him and couple of his friends his age smoking cigarette. no wonder he refuse to take me along. i thought he wanna scold me. but then his friend gave me one cigarette. oo at that time cigarette ar not tht expensive. ya can get a big box for only RM2.20 if i'm not mistaken. that is the first time i smoke without any obligation. hehe. from that day onwards, i start smoking. sometimes without my brother around. i even bring few of my friends to smoke wit. pretty cool thou. ya feel like adults that time. i know some of you or all of you doesn't agree wit this even i don't agree wit this now. well i told ya guys the truth about how i felt that time. One more thing.. i neva get caught. not like my brother. he always get caught by my parents, teachers, neighbours..etc. well, i learn a lot of things when i was a kid. influence by my brother ofcourse. bout' music, lifestyle, anything. but the bad part is, i have to listen to him and do wuteva he told me to do. Like making him (my brother) a coffee almost everyday since i was 7 years old. just imagine.. making a coffee. that just an example. i get to do a lot of other thing as well. like cleaning the house when my parents outstation and my brother and his friends make all the mess. i dnt why i do it. it's my nature. when i refuse to do it he will say something like 'ok takpe(wit prejudice look)'. then i keep on doing it. but the good thing is, i can show my cool thing to the rest of my schoolmate. especially music and stuff. oowwh.. i forgot to tell ya, my brother, he's very good wit arts. i dnt know from who he got this talent. but his hand like magic. everything he draw looks very nice since he was a kid. he always do something wit style. that is one talent i try to follow but i can't coz i'm not good enough. if i hv something like his talent, i could be somebody now. myb a profesional artist or something. i always copied wut he drew on his schoolbag and file. i showed it to my classmate and they all pretty amazed for wut i'm doin. hehe.

well, i dnt know why i share this to everybody.. maybe coz i just wanna tell the moral of the story.. i know it sounds lame but the thing is Just be yourselve. dnt get influence by anybody even your brother. just take only the good. not the bad. don't get bullied. wuteva it is, he's my brother, i always love him and my family. i love all my friends too. my teacher?hhmm. nah.. i dnt love my teacher.. hahahaha. well maybe some of them. ok then.. nothing more to say. bye now.